Yep, I'm scared.
I'm scared about the injections and the pain I will endure the next 3-8 weeks. I've only had one injection in each side of my butt so far, and they are already tender to the touch. With each shot the pain will only get worse, and I've been told it will be very painful to walk, sit, etc. Maybe I'm being a baby, but the thought of that makes my stomach churn. Other common side effects: bloating, nausea, irritability, headache, insomnia, breast tenderness, oil pockets underneath the skin, etc. Yippee!! (insert sarcasm) Can I really make it through this? I will, because I have to.
I'm also scared about the embryo transfer. Part of me is so excited about the possibility of getting pregnant, but the other part of me is so scared that it will be another failed cycle. And what if I do get pregnant? Then I'll be terrified of miscarrying. It's so hard to fathom working so hard and long to get pregnant, actually getting pregnant, and then having it taken away from me. I feel like the joys of pregnancy have been robbed of me because of all that we've been through. I feel like I can't allow myself to get excited, because I have to protect my emotions. I guess I'm getting ahead of myself since I have to get pregnant before I worry about all of that, but I can't help but think about it.
Thanks for listening to my fears, and thanks for your support!! I'm so grateful to all of the people that have shown us how much they care and have offered encouragement. Until next time...
Julie - will the injections be painful YES will it last forever NO. Yes, you can make it through this you are strong woman (we are always stronger than we think) will you have moments that you want to quit or give up - yes at those times draw on your inner strength and the strength of your marriage. Jimmy is there and although he can not take this burden physically on know (as I know him) that he wishes he could.
ReplyDeleteAll of your worries about the future and what could happen are common and you are not alone. There is scripture somewhere that talks about not worrying about tomorrow only deal with today. One day at a time and one shot at a time.
I am praying for you specifically that this works the first time. I understand your fears and your disappointments. I pray for Jimmy too but only one who has been there done that can truly understand.
Christene Catlin
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7
ReplyDeleteJulie, trust me...nothing you can do will make all the fears go away. Our first IVF when we got pregnant we were so excited but then when it was taken away from us weeks later, we really didnt know what to do. Now, IVF #2 we are both in the same position and I am scared everyday that something is going to be wrong at our next Dr apt. You just have to look past everything and stop thinking IF and just think about it being ALL worth it when you do get to bring the little one home.
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